jINhua: Relationships

So, we have been reading Tuck Everlasting for what feels like an eternity. So, to spice things up I've added in some "hot topic reflections". The first one I had the students reflect on, was same sex relationships. The second one, which they wrote yesterday was, "should boyfriends and girlfriends be allowed in high school?"

Before I go into their thoughts on both of these topics, I should give some history about the students here. For one, they are NOT allowed to have a boyfriend or a girlfriend, if they are found to be spending too much time with the opposite sex, their parents will be called, and the principal called, it is very serious and has major consequences. Students are told from their parents and other family members that being in a relationship is for mature adults, and that if they were to date in high school, that they would not be able to focus on their studies, and studies are the most important. This leads to obvious complications for them as they get older, and more importantly when they move to Canada and will need to interact with male and females, in a positive way. (you can see the many other complications coming in here when Western society embraces all sorts of relationships). Just getting them to hold hands in a circle at sixteen years old with the opposite sex is getting them out of their comfort zone.

Secondly, Homosexuality, is Illegal. Done. NO discussion. However, these students are of a different generation than their parents, and they are becoming a little more open to the idea. Isn't it ironic that the girls and boys in this country can show so much affection towards each other, the guys can hold hands, the girls can hold hands, hug and generally care for their friends, and not one person would call them out as "gay". In Canada, kids are committing suicide, getting throw in lockers, beat up, made fun of, name called, for doing the exact things these kids do every day.

Because my students are awesome, and reflective, and probably the most awesome kids ever, (I'm going to show them this blog, thought I would throw that in there) they started critically thinking about this topic, and they thought it was interesting, that a country that allows the legal marriage of people of the same sex, would not accept people of the same sex showing affection towards each other. On the other hand, this country allows people of the same sex to show so much affection towards each other, but are completely homophobic.

As for relationships in high school. This is what got me thinking. Should we have relationships in high school? There are so many sides to this topic that I have no idea where to start. I have seen the positives of having kids wait to be in a relationship, they are taken much more seriously here, and a partner is chosen either in haste because they are running out of time before, god forbid they are 25 and unwed (i'm probably going to die a lonely spinster). Or, they have had time to wait for the right person. The youth here are so innocent, they have not been exposed to the things that Western kids have been. They respect their teachers, they respect their classmates, they respect their parents, the Principal's word means something, they WANT to learn, and for the most part they are not worried if their boyfriend dumped them, or is cheating on them, or had sex with their friend - or their friend is pregnant in high school. Yes, some of the students have boyfriends or girlfriends, the CANADIAN teachers usually know about these by year three, but they have to hide it.

So what have I concluded by the end of this? Nothing. I have no answers. There are positives and negatives to both sides. When your right is taken away to choose to be in a relationship, is that fair? No. Does it help you later in life to choose better relationships, to be mature about sex and having kids? Maybe. Is there a high rate of teen pregnancy and drug use in China - not that I have seen.

Wouldn't it be nice if we could have stayed innocent for a bit longer? We spend so much of our time when we are young wanting to be older, and from what I've heard, when we get older (I'm still 25) wanting to be young. We have to be adults so quickly in this world, start working, make money, go to school...to be young and innocent, for your entire youth, wouldn't that be nice?

I want to add that I really do have a lot more thoughts on this topic, and I've only skimmed the surface in this blog...it would take me ages to write all of my thoughts down. So feel free to comment, the kids would love to hear what you think! If you can't comment directly, please email me, the students find it very interesting to hear what Westerner's think of China.

Just thought it was an appropriate time for some photo's...back in my "youth".